My Peer Review for Libby, Chloe, Erica, and Abby

Greg Warman

10-30-12

Eng 1510

Peer Review: Libby, Erica, Chloe, Abby

(the blogpost/facebook page)

Introduction:

                Your introduction in the blog was very catchy.  I’m not sure many people ponder on the idea that by constantly “tweeting” their thoughts in ordinance with a 140 character limit, they may be affecting their ability to create longer, more drawn out ideas, thoughts, and responses.  By getting into the habit of condensing your thoughts so that they’ll fit in a tweet, it may be creating a habit that affects more than just your tweets.  Great point!

First and Second Paragraph:

                Good information, I’d just watch the repetition of the word “today.” Also, you mention “what we are used to” in reference to the age at which younger kids are being introduced to technologies: I would argue that there has never been a set age at which technology is presented to children, however, it started with the cell phone craze (around 8^th grade for me) and ever since then it seems like cell phones are being given to kids at a younger and younger age, and I’ve been getting friend requests from some of my friends’ little siblings, some of which are as young as 7 or 8 years old!

Third Paragraph:

I’d add more information to your statement about the study conducted in Great Britain.  What did the study entail? Who conducted it? How did the results show that social media helps improve students’ literacy? Put the results in your own words to simplify it and make it easier to read. Also, check your spelling

Fourth Paragraph:

                Awesome idea.  You make a great connection to the idea of technology, social media, and the difference between creating a private journal compared to writing for an online audience.

Fifth Paragraph:

                Spelling! In a paragraph about how spelling is positively affected by social media, make sure your own spelling is correct! Otherwise, intriguing information brought on by the survey. And again, I would summarize the results in your own words to make it easier to read and understand.

Rest of Paper:

                The surveys and results from the surveys add a great deal to your overall argument, just simplify the results and explain them in your own words to sort of “clean up” and simplify exactly what you’re arguing and how the surveys compliment your argument.

Facebook Page:

                I really enjoyed the layout.  Being a social media junkie, I found it to be easy to read and easily accessible.  Also, I liked how you incorporated your own Facebook pages by using them to comment on the group page!